


Endgame

by EdithBlake



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Endgame, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, post 3x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-29 18:51:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21414976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdithBlake/pseuds/EdithBlake
Summary: Buck and Eddie have a long overdue talk about everything that's been on their shoulders since the tsunami.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 18
Kudos: 421





	Endgame

If there was one thing that Buck hated, it was change. He hated it. He hated walking into the station and not seeing Hen there. He hated that Chim was taking it the hardest and no longer joking around with everyone but instead keeping his head down. He hated that Maddie was choosing to talk to Chim about her problems before him. He hated that Bobby was swamped with Hen’s investigation that he barely had time to say hello in the morning. He hated that Eddie chose to talk to Lena and Bobby about his problems and not him. He hated, that as soon as Bobby told him about Eddie’s extracurricular activities, Eddie had started to avoid him like the plague. Everything was different at the station and he hated it. He missed Hen’s kind smile in the morning when he came in. He missed Chim’s witty jokes. He missed dinners with Bobby and late night talks with Maddie. He really fucking missed hanging out with Eddie and Christopher. He hadn’t seen Christopher in over a month and it was driving him to the brink of insanity. He was barely sleeping at this point. God what he wouldn’t do for a time machine. He’d go back to the day that damn ladder truck exploded and would have gotten in with Eddie and the others and none of this would be happening. He exited his truck and stared at Eddie’s new one with disgust. Bobby had told him that Eddie had gotten it with his street fighting winnings. That’s how he got his Eddie news now, through Bobby. It pissed him off. Eddie was his best friend and yet he was finding out all these things about Eddie through Bobby. Buck had tried to bring it up at work but Eddie always brushed him off. Bobby said that he was helping Eddie and to be patient. Being patient was another thing Buck hated. He walked into the station and instead of feeling the usual rush of adrenaline, he felt discouraged. It’s been a week since the accident, a week without Hen. A week of true fucking hell and he was so tired. Buck saw Chimney by the truck. He was loading it up. He was moving on autopilot. Buck frowned slightly. 

“Morning, Chim.” Buck said as he walked over to help him with one of the bags. 

Chim gave him a nod and a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Buck smiled just as tightly and left to go change. He walked into the locker room to see Eddie tying his boots. Normally, Buck wouldn’t hesitate to walk over and start a conversation with him but things weren’t normal anymore. Instead he cleared his throat causing Eddie’s head to shoot up as he awkwardly rolled his shoulders and nodded at Buck. Buck sighed and shook his head with annoyance and walked over to his locker and slammed it open. He could feel Eddie’s eyes on him but he didn’t care. He just didn’t care anymore as he violently pulled his shirt over his head and shoved it even more violently into his locker. 

“What did that shirt ever do to you?” Buck tensed as he heard Eddie’s attempt at a joke. 

Buck felt the anger boil within him. Eddie barely spoke two words to him in the last week that weren’t work related and now he was trying to joke around? 

“Not in the mood, man.” Buck snapped as he shoved his LAFD shirt on and turned to glare at Eddie, who in return crossed his arms and leaned against his locker. 

“Clearly.” Eddie stated evenly as he continued to stare at Buck with a raised eyebrow.  
Buck felt his patient, the little that he had left, snap. 

“Don’t you have your meeting with Bobby to get to?” Buck all but growled earning a deep frown from Eddie. 

Eddie sighed and walked over to him but Buck refused to give him any of his attention. Eddie gently closed Buck’s locker and took a deep calming breath. 

“I know things haven’t been great lately…” Buck scoffed at that. “But acting like a child throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make things any better.” Eddie said.

That was it. That was the last straw. “Says the grown ass man playing street fighter.” Buck all but snarled. 

Eddie froze for a second before glaring back at him. “Don’t be an ass! I’m trying to help here, Buck.” Eddie gritted out but Buck just scoffed at him again. 

“How about you help yourself before trying to help me.” Buck grumbled before walking away.

He made it two steps before he felt Eddie's grip on his arm stopping him midstep. 

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do! But of course you can’t see that! All you can think about is yourself!” Eddie snapped back and Buck just shoved passed him. 

“Yeah, I’m the bad guy, here. Whatever, man.” Buck called over his shoulder as he walked out of the locker room and bumped into Bobby.

Bobby was frowning as he stared between Buck and Eddie. “Everything okay here?” He asked with concern and Buck just rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, Cap. All good.” Buck spat sarcastically as he walked away.

He saw Chim shooting him a worried glance as he climbed the stairs to the kitchen.

He grabbed his mug and filled it to the brim with coffee. He dosed it with cream and sugar. He saw Chim out of the corner of his eye leaning against the counter. 

“You okay?” He heard Chim ask and Buck was seriously tired of being asked that question. 

“I’m fine.” Buck grunted as he took a sip of his coffee only to burn the roof of his mouth. 

“Fuck!” He growled and put the mug down.

He looked up to see Chim staring at him with a knowing look. 

“What?” Buck muttered as he fanned his tongue with his hand.

“Eddie’s going through some stuff right now, Buck…” Chim started and Buck wanted to scream. 

“And I get that! I do! But I can’t help him if he doesn’t talk to me!” Buck whined. 

Chim nodded before crossing his arms and looking over to the stairs and then back at Buck.

“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who isn’t so involved....”Chim started and Buck frowned.

“So you’re saying I’m the problem.” Buck grumbled and Chim sighed. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Buck.” Chim said but Buck was done listening to him.

“I got paperwork to do.” Buck said flatly. “Buck…” Chim tried but Buck just walked away. 

He passed Eddie and Bobby on the way to his desk but refused to spare them a glance.

“Buck!” He heard Eddie call out but he kept walking. He watched as Eddie caught up to him. 

“We need to talk.” Eddie said but Buck ignored him.

“Seriously, man. We can’t start our shifts by going after each other’s throats.” Eddie said and Buck was starting to get a headache. 

“You’re right. We should go back to you avoiding me.” Buck said sarcastically earning a sigh of frustration from Eddie.

“I wasn’t avoiding you.” Eddie said but Buck could hear the lie in his voice. 

“Why is it that I’m the one always apologizing? I’m the one always trying to make things right. I’m the one who cares far more about this friendship than you. But I’m done trying. You don’t want me around, fine! I'm done." Buck stated darkly coming to a stop.

Eddie was frowning at him. "I care about you and me just as much as you do!" Eddie growled as he got up into Buck's personal space.

"After Shannon died, I was at your place every single night for a month. I was there for you since day two. I helped you find Carla. I helped you when you needed someone to watch Christopher. I've come running every time you needed me! Every single time. When I was going through P.T, you visited me what four times? Mostly so I could look after Christopher when you went to work. When the tsunami hit and I lost Chris...I wanted to die. I wanted to die because I love that kid so fucking much and I felt like I deserved to die. I've been having night terrors every single night since. Have you once asked me how I was doing with all that? And the one time, the one single time I was a bit selfish in this friendship you verbally attack me for it. Telling me that I didn't think about how it would affect Christopher! When all I have been thinking about every night when I close my eyes is him! Fuck you, man! You chose to talk to Lena and Bobby over me. Lawsuit or not, if you would have shown up at my place and told me about all the shit you’ve been going through you know for damn sure I would have been there for you! That I would have had your back. So no Eddie! You don't care about us like I do. You never did." Buck finished with a shuddered breath.

Buck watched so many different emotions flicker over Eddie’s face. 

“That’s not true...I care about us. I always have and always will.” Eddie muttered lowly and Buck sighed feeling emotionally drained. 

“If that’s true then why won’t you talk to me? What am I doing wrong here? I’ve been trying, man. I’ve never tried so hard to… Am I not enough?” Buck asked running a hand through his hair and he noticed Eddie completely blanch. 

Buck jolted in surprise as Eddie grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the bunk room. Eddie closed the door and turned to him. 

“Never for one second think that you are not enough. Me not dumping my issues on you. That’s on me not you.” Eddie stated firmly and Buck frowned. 

“Why can’t you just talk to me?” Buck whispered defeated. 

“Shannon asked me for a divorce before she died. She said it wasn’t working out.” Eddie muttered trying to keep the tears at bay. 

Buck’s head shot up and concern flowed through him in waves. “Fuck, Eddie. I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved her. How much you were trying for Christopher.” Buck started but Eddie cut him off. 

“That’s the thing...I loved her but I wasn’t in love with her. Hadn’t been for a long time. Then she died and the guilt...The guilt of having moved on…”Eddie choked up and Buck crowded him.

He gently stroke his arm trying to give him as much support as he could. “You’ve been fighting because you’ve been feeling guilty over her death?” Buck asked still slightly confused.

Eddie shook his head. “I was dealing with it...But than the tsunami hit and Christopher started dreaming about her and my first instinct was to call you.” Eddie whispered and Buck leaned in closer.

“Why didn’t you?” Buck asked and Eddie closed his eyes. 

“Because I couldn’t handle the guilt...Because I fell out of love with Shannon the moment I met you.” Eddie said and Buck froze. 

Buck couldn’t breath. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t move. “What we have...Do you realize that it’s not normal? Everyone sees it. So yeah, talking to you isn’t easy. I’m so fucking terrified that I’m going to say something that’s going to scare you away.” Eddie muttered as he continued to fight back tears. 

Buck looked down at his feet. “You don’t find it, you make it.” Buck whispered and the words finally made sense to him.

“What?” Eddie asked his voice a bit choked up. 

“You don’t find love, you make it.” Buck explained and Eddie bit his lip as he nodded. 

“Guess we’ve been making love for a while now.” Buck said softly and Eddie snorted lightly.

“Yeah, I like to think we have.” Eddie stated as he awkwardly shuffled from foot to foot. 

“If this is going to work, I need you to trust me. I need you to know that there is nothing you can say or do that is ever going to scare me away from you. I’ll take your demons and I’ll love them just as much as the rest of you. Because I know you’ll do the same for me.” Buck knew that maybe he was pushing it too far but he didn’t care, he needed Eddie to know that he was all in. 

“I’m terrified.” Eddie let out a small sob and Buck closed the distance hugging him tightly. 

“And that’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay. You don’t ever have to pretend with me.” Buck whispered as he rubbed Eddie’s back. 

“Are you sure about this?” Eddie whispered shyly against Buck’s neck and Buck smiled.

“You and me, Eddie. We’re endgame.” Buck stated gently and pulled back to look into Eddie’s soft brown eyes. 

Eddie shook his head. “You’re such a dork.” He teased and Buck smirked. 

“Yeah but I’m your dork.” Buck said and Eddie nodded.  
“Yeah, corazón. You are.” Eddie breathed before kissing him.

Buck groaned slightly as he pushed Eddie into the door. 

\--  
Buck walked back into the kitchen to see Chimney smirking and Bobby frowning in disapproval. 

“What? We made up.” Buck said with a confused frown. 

“Clearly.” Chim snorted and both Eddie and Buck were confused. 

“Your shirts are inside out.” Bobby said with a small shake of his head as he fought back a smile.


End file.
